The Peril of Overcommitment: When Saying Yes Too Often Works Against Us

(By Alejandro Melamed )“You won’t believe it, but for our next session, we will have to wait at least six weeks. I don’t have even half an hour available; we are swamped.” This was the extent of the busyness conveyed by the Chief Operations Officer of a multinational company I was coaching. 

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  • I was not as surprised by this individual’s overwhelming schedule as I was by the manner in which they communicated it: I sensed a certain “pride” in their expression, as if having no time in their agenda were an achievement in itself.

  • A colleague from Marketing remarked similarly: “Between travels, meetings with agencies, internal presentations, and activations, I doubt we can proceed with the process until the next season.”

 

  • Each time I encounter such justifications, I come to the conclusion that we live in a world that glorifies hyper-productivity, immediacy, and a “full agenda” as symbols of success and prestige. Overcommitment has become a silent trap that ensnares an increasing number of professionals across diverse fields. This phenomenon, omnipresent in organizations, will be further explored in the following lines.

 

The Era of Hyper-Demand 

 

  • Accepting too many projects, taking on more responsibilities than we can effectively manage, or committing to multiple initiatives simultaneously may sound invigorating at first. However, empirical evidence shows that it leads to burnout, diminished quality of outcomes, and, in extreme cases, to mental exhaustion.

  • The term “overcommitment” is not new; there are records of its use dating back to the nineteenth century, and it appears in numerous studies from the mid-twentieth century. Nevertheless, its impact is felt today more strongly than ever.

 

Overcommitment encapsulates the phenomenon of undertaking more obligations than can be fulfilled with the available resources: time, energy, and capabilities. It is a concept deeply intertwined with contemporary culture’s hyper-demand. Recognizing it, identifying its signs, and devising strategies to manage it effectively is crucial for developing sustainable professional trajectories.

 

As previously stated, overcommitment occurs when an individual accepts more tasks, projects, or responsibilities than they can genuinely sustain, jeopardizing their health, performance, or emotional well-being. However, the underlying factors are more intricate. It is not merely a case of poor time management but rather an interaction of emotional, social, and cultural pressures that compel us to say yes even when we should be inclined to say no.

 

Psychotherapist and author Israa Nasir, in "Why You’re Chronically Overcommitted," asserts that overcommitment is less of an error in time management and more a reflection of the cultural pressure that drives us to work excessively, even if the costs to our physical and mental health are evident.

 

 

Overcommitment Is Not Over-Engagement 

 

It is essential to distinguish this concept from the notion of over-engagement proposed by the French sociologist René Lourau. To clarify the terms:

 

- Commitment: A conscious willingness to engage and fulfill obligations, a healthy and necessary professional decision.

- Overcommitment: Emerges when this decision exceeds its bounds, and the individual begins to give more than they can sustain: working excessively, bearing guilt for not meeting expectations, or feeling indispensable.

- Engagement: Not a visible attitude, but a structural relationship —sometimes unconscious— that we have with the organization, even in instances where we do not participate or take a step back.

- Over-Engagement: The darker side of engagement; it occurs when the organization transforms emotional investment into an obligation, demanding perpetual enthusiasm, requiring individuals to “put themselves out there” consistently, and turning commitment into a form of moral mandate.

 

In summation, commitment is the choice to get involved, while overcommitment is losing balance by taking on too much. Engagement reflects how we are connected to the system, while over-engagement refers to when that system demands more than we can give, not only in hours but in “soul” as well.

 

Commitment and overcommitment are personal decisions, while engagement and over-engagement depend on the organization with which we connect.

 

The Causes of Overcommitment 

 

Building on the ideas of Marc Zao-Sanders, author of the timeboxing method, we can identify several primary reasons for overcommitment:

1. The need to please others and seek external validation: We look for approval from our surroundings and believe that saying yes will portray us as more committed and valuable.

2. Fear of rejection or failure: The anxiety that a refusal might be perceived as a sign of weakness or disinterest.

3. Constant comparison with others: In hyper-competitive environments, the logic of “if others can, so can I” fuels unrealistic decision-making.

4. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): The anxiety of missing opportunities leads us to take on too much; it is an overload driven by the fear of being left behind.

5. The desire for control: Accepting multiple tasks provides the illusion that everything depends on oneself, reinforcing a false sense of power.

6. The planning fallacy: We tend to underestimate the time tasks will take and overestimate our capacity. This optimism leads us to accept more activities than are reasonable, generating stress, delays, and accumulation.

7. Impostor syndrome: When someone doubts their competencies, they may compensate by saying “yes” to everything to prove their worth or avoid being “discovered.” The result is a self-imposed professional demand that leads to burnout.

8. Diffuse or nonexistent boundaries: Without clear boundaries regarding time, availability, and responsibilities, others occupy that space. The lack of boundaries —both external and internal— facilitates the expansion of work, displacing personal life.

 

In The Burnout Society, renowned philosopher Byung-Chul Han pointed out that in the performance-driven capitalism, the external repression violence has been replaced by self-exploitation, leading to a society of exhausted, depressed, and frustrated individuals. This is not a result of demands from others but rather stems from self-imposed expectations.

 

This new form of power is not based on prohibitions; rather, it is grounded in the constant self-demand for productivity and excessive positivity (maintaining a consistently favorable, optimistic, or constructive attitude in the face of challenges, even when difficult), leading individuals to become their own executioners and feel guilty for their exhaustion.

 

Warning Signs 

 

  • Detecting overcommitment in a timely manner can prevent greater issues. Some recurring signs include: constant fatigue, neglect of basic needs, lack of leisure time, frequent errors, chronic anxiety, and deterioration in extralaboral relationships.

  • Prominent professors Avanzi, Zaniboni, Balducci, and Fraccaroli have demonstrated that overcommitment is directly related to burnout, and job dissatisfaction exacerbates this connection: those working in contexts where motivation erodes tend to overcommit as a dysfunctional attempt to compensate for their frustrations.

  • The paradox is evident: the more exhausted we feel, the more we overburden ourselves in search of validation that never arrives. This vicious cycle results in symptoms of physical exhaustion, depersonalization, and a loss of meaning in work.

 

The Consequences of Overcommitment 

 

Just as the warning signs are clear, the consequences are as well. This is the path from exhaustion to depersonalization. Among the most significant outcomes, we find:

 

- Physical and mental health problems, ranging from insomnia to depression.

- Diminished quality of work, characterized by an increased number of errors, an inability to innovate, and difficulties in maintaining standards of excellence.

- Loss of job and life satisfaction.

- Deterioration of interpersonal relationships.

- Negative impact on organizational climate, creating exhausted teams with high turnover rates.

 

Various studies show that overcommitment not only correlates with burnout but also systematically feeds into it. Initial exhaustion leads to unhealthy compensatory strategies—such as working longer hours, postponing rest, or accepting new projects—which further increase the risk of greater fatigue.

 

Coach Anna Dearmon Kornick, who hosts the popular podcast “It’s About Time,” succinctly explains, “By saying yes to everything, we are ultimately saying no to our health, our relationships, and, ultimately, to our real success.”

 

What to Do: Strategies to Break the Vicious Cycle 

Overcoming this trap requires a profound shift in how we understand work, success, and personal boundaries. Some strategies recommended by experts include:

1. Recognizing and auditing commitments: honestly listing all current obligations and assessing which are truly priorities.

2. Learning to say no intelligently: setting boundaries is not an act of selfishness but a strategic form of self-care.

3. Prioritizing with purpose: not everything urgent is important; differentiating between what is essential and what is peripheral is key.

4. Strategic management of meetings: discerning when to participate and when not to, and challenging the length of meetings.

5. Delegating without guilt: trusting others does not diminish our value; it enhances it.

6. Applying time management techniques: tools and tactics help regain focus.

7. Reviewing emotional causes: we often overburden ourselves because we avoid confronting deeper insecurities.

8. Utilizing technology wisely: embracing devices and AI to become allies rather than adversaries.

9. Fostering healthy organizational cultures: companies play a crucial role in discouraging the glorification of a saturated agenda.

 

In Summary 

Overcommitment reflects both social pressures and personal insecurities. Saying “yes” can open doors, but doing so indiscriminately can close them. The key lies in recognizing our limitations, not as a weakness but as a form of self-care and professional intelligence.

 

 

(*) Alejandro Melamed holds a Doctorate in Economic Sciences, is an international speaker, and a disruptive consultant. He is the author of nine books, including Leadership + Human - Stories from (My) Life to Inspire Us (2025), The Future of Work Has Arrived (2022), Times for the Brave (2020), Design Your Change (2019), and The Future of Work and the Work of the Future (2017).

 

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